Grant Montgomery: Loss of relationship

We start out life expecting to make loyal friends, to keep our marriages together, to raise perfect children, and to perform our work without error. When any of these lofty goals fail, we can become depressed, fearful or anxious, and judge ourselves.

Thus the loss of a close friend can be tough. And the loss of a spouse or long term relationship can be devastating.

Feelings of meaninglessness often descend upon us after a loss of a relationship. In the depression following the loss, we not only grieve but go into isolation. Not unlike a recovering alcoholic, when we are just pulling out of a divorce or separation, we need support from others around us, oftentimes months or even sometimes years later.

Where does someone turn who is going through a divorce? While someone struggling with alcohol or substance abuse may find acceptance and help in Alcoholics Anonymous or equivalent, where do you turn when faced with a divorce?

Speaking from experience, I found the answer was simply in finding others who shared a similar experience and culture, where I did not have to feel alone or isolated in my situation as a single dad raising a teen daughter. My source of acceptance was finding a group of single parents who got together with their kids in casual settings. While the kids occupied themselves, the parents took the opportunity to speak with the other adults present. Friendships naturally formed.

If you have gone through a divorce, or lost a close friend or loved one, I hope you find something of inspiration on these pages.

Read Marrying our spouse’s mother!